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"My son is gay. Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you."



The entire post

Warning: I advise you to just read it and share if you wish. This has gone viral. There are thousands of comments, and if you don't have a really fast ISP and computer, it is likely to freeze up on you if you try to add your $0.02.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
karen_jk
Nov. 6th, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for sharing this. I can't believe how wonderful this mom is. So moving.

I cld understand moms that wld be worried if a mom forced her boy to wear a dress when he didn't want to in the name of "let's not stereotype, boys can wear dresses." There may be one or two moms in the world like that, I dunno. But all you have to do is look at that boy's face in the pic and see that he's feeling super.



bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:42 am (UTC)
Yes, you can see the excitment on his face.

Among all the discussions regarding the suicides, one thing that has come up is the idea that parents should not assume "straight until proven gay." Also, they should not wait until their child comes out to let them know that they would love them either way.

How many gay kids agonize over what their parents' reaction will be. I know my brother did.
barbaragail
Nov. 6th, 2010 02:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for always posting such important and relevant stuff - your pretty terrific like that!
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:37 am (UTC)
Sometimes I feel like I'm preaching to the choir, but these are public posts, so perhaps I am reaching some who need to hear it.

Thanks for you encouraging words!
alabastard
Nov. 6th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC)
It shocks me that a five year old acting out a dressing up has become a gay issue ... I miss the days when kids could just be kids without sexuality entering into it. However, it does get people thinking...
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:36 am (UTC)
Because it's in the media more, people are thinking about it. Some people need to do a little more thinking, from the looks of this.

Yes. Back in the day, two of my three brothers dressed in drag for Hallween when they were children. The one who didn't is gay. ;)
alabastard
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:45 am (UTC)
Yeah, sexuality and gender expression are separate aspects, though societal expectation often sways the so inclined toward these behaviours. Ah well, at least people are aware, though I miss the day when everything was not about sex.
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:57 am (UTC)
And if people didn't just think about sex when they think of sexual orientation, we wouldn't be dealing with discrimination on this level in our falsely puritan society.
queen_mamidala
Nov. 6th, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC)
I put this up in my facebook a couple days ago. I thought it was definitely worth sharing!
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:32 am (UTC)
I tried to put it up earlier, but it was frozen and I couldn't even open it.

I think Wordpress was not prepared for the volume this post generated.
belluthien
Nov. 7th, 2010 06:42 am (UTC)
So glad that boy has such an awesome mom. Wish there were more like that.

Sad to know the boy's instincts were warning him correctly.

I know a few A B and C's from our kids old school. Likely there are more of them at the public school. And they train their kids. So it goes. The bully mindset truly is pervasive, disguising itself as "concern."

So many refuse to understand that gender has little to do with orientation. I guess this is due to the fact that most seem to fit comfortably in one box or the other. What's there to think about, beyond perhaps concluding that we're weird and sick?

*sigh*
Boxes simply suck.
y
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 11:34 am (UTC)
She is indeed an awesome mom.

I am wondering if someone put a bug in the boy's ear prior to the party. I honestly can't imagine him coming to this idea that he would be teased on his own.

"The bully mindset truly is pervasive, disguising itself as 'concern.'"

It is also disguised as "love the sinner, hate the sin."

It seems to me that gender and orientation are distinct, yet also linked in a strange way.

Yes. We have a need to give things a name in order to understand them, but some boxes are too rigid. We are on a spectrum.

belluthien
Nov. 7th, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC)
I can actually imagine he came up with it on his own. Or he talked to friends, and they came up with it together. Five year olds are very aware.

"love the sinner, hate the sin..."

That stance is pure arrogance. The kind people don't see in themselves.

Gender is linked to orientation maybe because we're sexual beings. But I don't see a link beyond that, and the construct that transgender has been added to gay and lesbian causes...

Heh, yes, I'm in the spectrum, out of either box. lol.
y
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 7th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
Ah, but you're speaking of sexual orientation as if the "sex" part is all there is to it. All that "stereotypically gay" stuff exists because there is more to many gay guys and lesbian women than just who they're attracted to. My brother has lots of girl friends (not girlfriends). He is good at decorating. "Out in the Silence" features a lesbian couple who at one point mention that they each own a chain saw.

When I talk about a link, I'm referring to the possible biological links between gay and trans.

It used to all be gay - transgender is a relatively new term, and it in itself is a fairly big umbrella.

And you have transgender people vs. gays (and straights - hello!) who dress in drag and don't consider themselves transgender at all. But it is still a very valid expression of who they are.
undomiel_sila
Nov. 8th, 2010 04:38 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for posting this! Her attitude towards the issue is very inspirational. Now, if only more parents exercised that sort of common sense... :)
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 8th, 2010 11:20 am (UTC)
The problem for many parents who want to do this right is that they don't "deal with it" until they are confronted with it in their own family. Then they are scrambling to understand and purge all the crap that they learned and all the preconceived notions of who and what their child was supposed to be.

That' why organizations like PFLAG exist.
pktaxwench
Nov. 8th, 2010 05:00 pm (UTC)
So, if crossdressing means you're gay, apparently I missed the memo.
bonnie_halfelvn
Nov. 8th, 2010 05:22 pm (UTC)
Yeah, me too.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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